GeoffWilde wrote:
My doctor doesn't even speak english, he has a big dirty beard. Not cool
- Do your office visits go something like this? ..
'Ballad Of A Big Dirty-Bearded Doctor'You walk into the room
With your stetho' in your hand
You see somebody naked
And you say, “Who is that man?”
You try so hard
But you don’t understand
Just what you’ll say
When you get home
Because something is happening here
But you don’t know what it is
Do you, Doctor Jones?
You raise up your head
And you ask, “Is this where it is?”
And the nurse points to you and says
“It’s his”
And you say, “What’s mine?”
And the Doctor says, “Where what is?”
And you say, “Oh my God
Am I here all alone?”
Because something is happening here
But you don’t know what it is
Do you, Doctor Jones?
You hand in your scalpel
And you go watch the geek
Who immediately walks up to you
When he hears you speak
And says, “How does it feel
To be such a freak?”
And you say, “Impossible”
As he hands you a bone
Because something is happening here
But you don’t know what it is
Do you, Doctor Jones?
You have many contacts
Among the Medivacs
To get you facts
For Heart Attacks and Palpitations
But nobody has any respect
Anyway they already expect you
To just give a check
To tax-deductible charity organizations
You’ve been with the professors
And they’ve all liked your looks
With great lawyers you have
Discussed lepers and crooks
You’ve been through all of
F. Spock Fitzgerald’s books
You’re very well read
It’s well known
Because something is happening here
But you don’t know what it is
Do you, Doctor Jones?
Well, the Pill Swallower, he comes up to you
And then he kneels
He crosses himself
And then he clicks his high heels
And without further notice
He asks you how it feels
And he says, “Here is your throat back
Thanks for the loan”
Because something is happening here
But you don’t know what it is
Do you, Doctor Jones?
Now you see this one-eyed surgeon
Shouting the word “NOW”
And you say, “For what reason?”
And he says, “How?”
And you say, “What does this mean?”
And he screams back, “You’re a cow
Give me some milk
Or else go home”
Because something is happening here
But you don’t know what it is
Do you, Doctor Jones?
Well, you walk into the waiting room
Like a camel and then you frown
You put your eyes in your pocket
And your nose on the ground
There ought to be a law
Against you makin' rounds
You should be made
To wear earphones
Because something is happening here
But you don’t know what it is
Do you, Doctor Jones?
Copyright © 1965 by Warner Bros. Inc.; renewed 1993 by Special Rider Music
'Doctored' by ~Grumpy .. 
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Love, Joanna XOXXO
